the first film

my son will watch will be this one....because he doesn't have a choice ;-) and because it's the greatest comedy ever made...

Guru Pitka: If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your uncle jack off an elephant?

The Love Guru (2008)

Rating 5.00/5.00
Where 5 is one of my favorite Hindi comedy


When you're reviewing a movie as funny as this one, you just can't help being serious. Here's a darn serious review of a very funny fillum....

I'm giving this is a 5 out of spite for all the people made it an IMDB 3.8 and didn't throng the movie halls when it was released. It has its flaws - no point denying that - but its just so so so good otherwise - that its really surprising why they all panned it. Maybe Indians can understand it better than the Western audience could. This is a CULT film in the making. Criterion Collection 2020 will have this...yes they will.

Till then, here's what makes this special - Mike Myers is at his best here as Guru Pitka - an American raised in an Indian ashram who returns to his country to become the next Deepak Chopra,  Ben Kingsley is fantastic as Guru Tugginmypudha - he who dips brooms in urine and teaches the young Mike the D of distraction, Justin Timberlake has an amazing screen presence as Jacques 'Le Coq' Grande, Verne Toyer is the coach of the hockey team and he has a office that suits a man of his stature and his name is Coach Punch Cherkov, and Jessica Alba is pleasant to the eye and she is much better at 1980's bollywood dance numbers than most of the 80s heroines used to be. And yes, the music is fantastic -how could they not appreciate the opening credits is beyond me!

And to end this, some Guru Pitka quotes (and all are Trade Marked so please don't copy!)-
* Intimacy is "Into Me I See.TM", 
* "Go from 'nowhere' to 'now-here.TM'"
* "An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.TM"
* "Let's look at the word, guru. Ok. My goal is to get you to say "Gee You Are YouTM"

Imdb link to read what the good people have to say - I like Mike Myers blah blah blah but this movie is terrible blah blah blah and if you've seen it and think its nothing great then here's what I have to say -

Don't look at me with that tone of voice or I will punch you in the shirt!

This radio station was named Kowalski, in honour of the last American hero to whom speed means freedom of the soul. The question is not when's he gonna stop, but who is gonna stop him.

Vanishing Point (1971)

Rating 4.00/5.00
Where 5 is my favorite cult fim

How to make a cult movie -

A. The script is unique and offensive to society in general and the film is appreciated by early adopters first - sort of like an underground classic
B. Its very funny but the humor is different from the usual and it takes time to absorb fully
C. Make it meaningless in a meaningful way and add a dollop of mystery in it
D. You make a good movie and you belong to a small, unnoticed country like Moldova
E. Should be super violent - like 10 people die in humongous pain every 5 seconds or 1-2 people die/ are tortured but its shown in excruciating detail
F. Science Fiction which has a unique vision which takes time for people to fully understand or maybe never understand fully
G. Make it the worst movie ever or die trying

Now examples -
A - Easy Rider
A+B - Trainspotting, Monty Python and the Holy Grail
A+C - Fight Club
B+C - Repo Man, Barton Fink
C - Vanishing Point
D - City of God (before seriously good cinema started flowing in from Brazil at regular intervals)
E - Hard Boiled, A Clockwork Orange
F - 2001 A Space Odyssey
G - Plan 9 from outer space, Manos the Hands of Fate

Vanishing Point is a wonderful example of a well made film which was made to have a cult following. The  main character - Kowalski - has no first name, no clear motivation for doing what he is doing and he smiles in a mysterious, all knowing way - to top that he has a fast car which makes a lot of noise and has nearly the entire police force looking for him and he takes Speed pills at regular intervals. And the entire film is a car chase!!!

A must watch for people looking to fill the gap between Easy Rider and Repo Man.

Imdb link here